People who know me best know when my actions are predictable. Such instances, of course, come at moments when anyone else (of sound mind) would know to conduct themselves appropriately. More specifically, when appropriate behavior is prescribed by the situation and dictated by ridiculous/bureaucratic/procedural norms. Well, I've got one of these very things coming up in the morning. At 8:30am, I sit for my Tennessee Board of Law Examiners Character & Fitness Interview... ugh.
It's important to note that the Tennessee Board of Law Examiners does not disclose, to an applicant, any information regarding what will be discussed during the interview. I have to guess what we'll be talking about! So you might understand seizing the opportunity to have the following conversation with the (very kind) legal assistant who called me to schedule the interview.
SCENE: Cell phone rings; the number is from a MAJOR national firm, we establish the time/location for the interviewer and then the following discussion takes place:
Assistant: "So do you have any questions?"
Tao: "Yes, a few. First, do I need to bring anything to the interview about my character... y'know, um, like... a Bible, personal references, a lie detector?"
Assistant [now attempting not to get sued for religious discrimination]: "The interviewer didn't request that you bring anything specifically, but you're free to bring, um... any instruments, well, books or information you think pertinent."
Tao: "Great, then I'll just do my best not to steal anything during the interview."
Tao: "What do I need to wear? I was thinking a suit and tie, but I need to be prepared for the '& Fitness' portion of my interview. Is there a place for me to change into gym clothes, or should I just wear comfortable shoes with my suit?"
Assistant: "What? No. No sir, 'Fitness' refers to your capacity to uphold the standards and professionalism of the profession. There's no running, just dress as you feel would be appropriate; that can be a suit or casual clothing."
Tao: "Well, this sounds much easier than what I'd imagined. [Name of major firm] is located downtown, correct?"
Assistant: "Yes, it's at the corner of [right, like I'm going to post that]."
Tao: "One final question. I'm driving there at 8:30am on Thursday to be questioned regarding my personal character, as to whether or not I'm capable of defending myself against any proclivities you've implied during my background check... so, will you all validate my parking?"
Assistant: "Yes."
At the end of the day, the situation appears to me as follows: With 5 years of undergraduate education, 3 years of law school, years of disclosed employment records, 6 personal references, and one summer spent studying for and taking an extremely nerve-racking Bar Exam complete... my entry into the legal profession depends primarily on whether I can make it through 15 minutes of an interview about my character without stealing something or using foul language.
God help me.
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2 comments:
Steve. You'll be great. Just don't be a solipsistic, self aggrandizing ego queen, and don't talk about Don Giovani the whole time. Buddhist monks maybe. Just be careful.
Seeing as how you passed, I can only imagine that you kept your foul language to a bare minimum. And by bare minimum, realizing this is Tennessee we're talking about, I must believe that at least 13 F-bombs, 2 m-f'ers, and a "candy-assed pansy-boy panty-waist" were uttered. And a fifth of Jack was passed around. Good times.
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