Oh how I loved the Character & Fitness Interview last Thursday!
Sarcasm.
Briefly, my goal was to the leave the interviewer with this question lingering (unanswered) in her head: "Was that guy just hard to get along with... or was he actually insulting me the whole time?"
Mission accomplished. After loading up a coffee cup with two complimentary espresso shots, making certain that my heart would explode if/when any additional stress was placed on it during our interview... Here's a sample of our Q&A's:
Q: "Are you currently employed?"
A: No, not at the moment.
Q: "Are you hoping to work with a firm?"
A: Yes, a firm or some other entity that practices law. I'm trying not to limit myself at the moment.
Q: "How are you going about trying to get a job?"
A: Well, I'm trying to show the people who work at firms that I work harder and have better qualifications than other applicants for the position.
Q: "You know the job market is really bad right now don't you?"
A: Really, and I mean this... thanks for this pep-talk.
Q: "Have you heard about the positions with the State as mediators? They barely require that you have a JD."
A: Apparently, there's a hiring freeze, due to some type of tax, money, issue-thingy that I find quite complicated. Also, I'm hoping that my actual JD will come in handy... I studied a lot to get it.
Q: "I see you have ADHD, do you have any other issues?"
A: I stubbed my toe recently.
Q: "No, I mean mental health issues."
A: None that have been diagnosed.
[Fortunately, I stopped myself from mentioning rage, homicidal thoughts, and a few others that were running through my head at that moment.]
Q: "Are you depressed?"
A: At the moment?
[Looks off toward the window, pondering...]
Q: "No, I mean have you been diagnosed with Depression?"
A: Not before today.
Q: "Do you have any questions for me?"
A: Will you all validate my parking?
In all honesty, about 90% of the above is true. Just insert a smile and a kind tone to all the obviously insulting parts - and deadpan tone for all the others. Yep, that's what happens when some [Big, National Firm's] attorney gets to decide whether or not I get a law degree... when her firm decided 2 years ago that I wasn't worthy of an interview for a summer associate position with their firm.
This post is copied from an email that I traded with a buddy who is still waiting for his C&F Interview. His response was: "Wow! That sounded like a great time, and it seems she managed to try to be helpful and insulting all at the same time." Hence, the title of this post.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
It's scary how well I can picture all of this going down. Highly amusing. Fortunately Florida isn't quite so rigorous with its C&F that I actually had to have an interview. Yikes!
How did you forget to mention that you're a convicted puppeteer?
Post a Comment